Dreams Don’t Die with Motherhood

I’ve been a Mother for almost 16 years now. With Gods plan, I became a Mother at 17. It made me who I am today. There’s no telling where I would’ve ended up if God didn’t allow me to mature so quickly. I grew up fast. Very fast. My second Daughter was born a year later. Then, I lost a baby in 2006 followed by my two youngest Daughters being born. One in 2007 and one in 2008. I felt like I was pregnant for half of my life. Aside from the hormonal changes and postpartum depression I never knew who I was.

The newborn/toddler stages are consuming and exhausting. I’m currently going through the teenage years ,and it’s just as exhaustingggg lol But a different kind of exhausting combined with constant worrying and craziness! Sorry, I’m not gonna sugar coat it!!

BUT Although Motherhood is supremely challenging, it has only seemed to make my heart bigger and has helped me fly higher. It is definitely a process. Discovering who I am and why I matter outside of Motherhood. My purpose.

I am finding myself and learning to trust the sound of my own voice, to listen to my intuition, to face conflict and criticism with grace and power. To not engage in negativity. I have a choice on what kind of woman I want to be ,and raising four daughters make it that much more important to show strength, courage, consistency, among so many other things.

When you have a strong sense of self you adapt better to change. You are able to soothe yourself in times of sadness and discomfort. Instead of stuffing those feelings and not dealing with them. Leaving behind the constant need of approval and dropping the guilt.

Motherhood and dreaming can coexist. You can set goals and accomplish them. You are NOT stuck. I reach my goals daily. I make a list of what I’d like to get done and slowly do them. Do I get them all done everyday? Of course not. I make sure to take some time for self care daily because without it I become lost. Those are my “little dreams”

I still have dreams big. I would love to work as a rehab counselor at a drug/alcohol facility. That’s something I’d like to accomplish someday. I know I’d be excellent at it. As hard as it may seem, finding ourselves outside of Motherhood is SO important.

Before I close, I remember in rehab when they asked us women to list good things about ourselves. I did the task wrong. Literally my whole list had very little to do ME. My list consisted of me being a loving mother, a good wife, a good daughter..etc.etc. Needless to say my counselor made me redo it to focus on myself. I’m grateful for that.

I believe us women need to look deep inside ourselves and not only recognize who we are as our “Titles” but who were are as a person. All of the good we have inside ourselves that is just waiting to be used.

“Not until we are lost do we begin to understand ourselves”– Henry David Thoreau

“you carry so much love in your heart. Give some to yourself- R.Z.

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