Uncertainty. The Unknown.

¬†¬† Anxiety affects 40 million adults in the US. I am one of those 40 million. There’s prescriptions for it. Does it make it disappear? No. Does it help? Sometimes.

I’ve always struggled with uncertainty.¬† I like to know what the future holds.¬† This is something I’ve wrestled with since childhood. The AA slogan -Let Go and Let God- is something I try to practice ,but sometimes it’s difficult for me. I give it to him and quickly take it back.

¬† If you’re similar to me, know that you’re not alone.¬† Especially,¬†during this time of uncertainty that we ALL around the world are experiencing right now. It’s a scary time right currently.¬† Here are a couple of things that I’ve incorporated into my life lately.¬† Some days they come easier for me than others.

Obviously the big one is taking EVERYTHING One Day/Minute At A Time.

Feel. Feel your emotions. The good and bad. No matter how uncomfortable it may be..just feel.

Realizing sometimes life is just “simply” out of my hands.

What is it that I CAN control? There’s more I CAN control than what I CANNOT.

~{I can feel pain but still be positive}~

We can’t escape the pain and hurts of this world, and especially the stress of the unknown.¬† Joy is found in peace, inner peace.¬† It’s my job to find that inner peace.

I have found that it’s easier when I start the day full of peace and joy.¬† I can tackle my stress and worries head on.¬† There’s a quote that says “life is 10% of what happens to us ,but 90% how we respond”.¬† I’ve learned that I don’t need to be certain to live a good life.¬† I can’t control SO much of my life or what’s going to happen to me.¬† But I can control how I respond. I’m continuously shifting my mindset especially today. I encourage you do to the same. Stay safe Friends ‚̧

Dreams Don’t Die with Motherhood

I’ve been a Mother for almost 16 years now. With Gods plan, I became a Mother at 17. It made me who I am today. There’s no telling where I would’ve ended up if God didn’t allow me to mature so quickly. I grew up fast. Very fast. My second Daughter was born a year later. Then, I lost a baby in 2006 followed by my two youngest Daughters being born. One in 2007 and one in 2008. I felt like I was pregnant for half of my life. Aside from the hormonal changes and postpartum depression I never knew who I was.

The newborn/toddler stages are consuming and exhausting. I’m currently going through the teenage years ,and it’s just as exhaustingggg lol But a different kind of exhausting combined with constant worrying and craziness! Sorry, I’m not gonna sugar coat it!!

BUT Although Motherhood is supremely challenging, it has only seemed to make my heart bigger and has helped me fly higher. It is definitely a process. Discovering who I am and why I matter outside of Motherhood. My purpose.

I am finding myself and learning to trust the sound of my own voice, to listen to my intuition, to face conflict and criticism with grace and power. To not engage in negativity. I have a choice on what kind of woman I want to be ,and raising four daughters make it that much more important to show strength, courage, consistency, among so many other things.

When you have a strong sense of self you adapt better to change. You are able to soothe yourself in times of sadness and discomfort. Instead of stuffing those feelings and not dealing with them. Leaving behind the constant need of approval and dropping the guilt.

Motherhood and dreaming can coexist. You can set goals and accomplish them. You are NOT stuck. I reach my goals daily. I make a list of what I’d like to get done and slowly do them. Do I get them all done everyday? Of course not. I make sure to take some time for self care daily because without it I become lost. Those are my “little dreams”

I still have dreams big. I would love to work as a rehab counselor at a drug/alcohol facility. That’s something I’d like to accomplish someday. I know I’d be excellent at it. As hard as it may seem, finding ourselves outside of Motherhood is SO important.

Before I close, I remember in rehab when they asked us women to list good things about ourselves. I did the task wrong. Literally my whole list had very little to do ME. My list consisted of me being a loving mother, a good wife, a good daughter..etc.etc. Needless to say my counselor made me redo it to focus on myself. I’m grateful for that.

I believe us women need to look deep inside ourselves and not only recognize who we are as our “Titles” but who were are as a person. All of the good we have inside ourselves that is just waiting to be used.

“Not until we are lost do we begin to understand ourselves”– Henry David Thoreau

“you carry so much love in your heart. Give some to yourself- R.Z.

We Have To or We Get To??

¬† ¬†¬† My life brings me much delight.¬† However, my life brings me lots of to-dos.¬† Some days, more than others.¬† I don’t mind being busy..I actually prefer the busy-ness.¬† But, sometimes it can become overwhelming.

Sometimes, when I get my list all scrawled out on paper, my mind starts racing and the “poor me” soundtrack that results from just looking at the list.

  • Poor me….this house is a mess.
  • Poor me…I have so much laundry that is never really finished.
  • Poor me..I don’t feel like exercising today ,but I have to or else my mind will tell me that I’m lazy.
  • Poor me..I have to figure out what to make for dinner..and if there’s nothing to make I have to actually venture out to the grocery store.
  • Poor me…I have to cook dinner, clean up after.
  • Poor me..I have so many places to drop the girls off and pick them up.

POOR, POOR, pitiful me!

However, how about I hit the restart button and instead of that poor me attitude I change it to gratitude? I GET TO DO THESE THINGS.

This house is a mess because we live here.¬† We have a house.¬† My kids are only young for so long and someday I will miss this mess that they make.¬† The laundry that I have to do? We have clothes that we’re able to wear. I don’t have to go grocery shopping. I get to do this errand- because I have enough money to purchase food.

Do I walk around as Miss Positive Polly? Do I always think this way?? Of course NOT! So do not beat yourself up.¬† I have to work on directing my thinking constantly.¬† It takes work ,but instead of being miserable it is such a better way to live.¬† I’ve said it so many times.¬† Gratitude changes so many things.¬† It truly makes living so much better.

Being sympathetic for others is a blessing and a curse for me.  I am a very empathetic person.  I really hate to see others suffer or struggle.  It sometimes actually consumes me.

I believe I got that trait from my Mother and Grandmother.¬† These women would/will give their last dollar to someone.¬† I am NOT tooting my own horn.¬† I’m simply saying, I like to give and it hurts me when someone is going through a rough time.

Being thankful and grateful is a good trait to have. I invite you to try to insert it into your daily lives ,as I work to do it myself.¬† I don’t have to. I get to. And thankfully I get to.

S.T.R.E.N.G.T.H

Sobriety is

Trusting the journey

Realizing your worth

Encouraging others

Noticing the little things

Giving it your all

Taking life one day at a time

Having faith that I can get through anything as long as I don’t pick up the first drink

Responsibility

Seems like a “no-brainer” but I often have to remind myself of what I’m responsible for ,and what is out of my hands. What I cannot control I give to God.

My Responsibility

  • MY WORDS
  • MY ACTIONS
  • MY EFFORTS
  • MY BEHAVIOR
  • MY IDEAS
  • MY MISTAKES
  • THE CONSEQUENCES OF MY ACTIONS

NOT My responsibility 

  • OTHER PEOPLES WORDS
  • OTHER PEOPLES MISTAKES
  • OTHER PEOPLES IDEAS
  • OTHER PEOPLES OPINIONS
  • OTHER PEOPLES ACTIONS
  • OTHER PEOPLES BELIEFS
  • THE CONSEQUENCES OF OTHER PEOPLES ACTIONS

Back at it!

I know! I’m terrible at keeping at things once I start them! (ex: this website) Ugh! However, I have been doing a good job at keeping my personal journal. I pull it out of the hiding spot, write in it, hid it and off to bed..almost nightly.¬† I think the last time I worked on this blog was in 2017??!¬†

¬† ¬† ¬†¬† To be honest, when I logged in I thought that it would no longer exist! lol I was going to go through all of my old posts and see which ones to delete. I didn’t even look back at those old posts. I figured I wrote them for a reason. Even if some of them don’t apply to me now. it’s ok. They’re there and I’ll keep them.

I decided to start back at working on it. I’m pretty sure I have undiagnosed ADHD. It also doesn’t help that I can’t sit for longer than 5 minutes at a time. Okay maybe 10. But in the 3 minutes that I’ve wrote these cpl of sentences I have already 1. got up to pee and 2. made a bowl of cereal.¬† See! I get distracted very easily!!

Ok so anyways, my goal is to post more often and maybe spread the word of this website to try and send some positivity and put out there what helps me get through certain obstacles in life.  

¬† ¬† ¬† ¬†¬† For so long I kept everything inside.¬† The older I get and the more years behind me the more open I am.¬† The way I see it is, why keep something to yourself when if you put yourself out there someone can help you or vise versa.¬† Or if you’ve been through something or are going through something 9 times out of 10 someone has been there before or is currently going through it and can help you! For example, in recovery.¬† I know a lot of people are big on anonymity.¬† There is absolutely nothing wrong with that.¬† I would never ever hurt anyone’s anonymity. But with that being said, I am very open in sharing my journey in being an recovering alcoholic.¬† Especially, if someone knew me a little over 6yrs ago and sees me today sober for the last 6 years…they’ll know that if I can stay sober they can.¬† For me, it’s all about sharing my experience and spreading the word that IT IS POSSIBLE. I truly get joy out of seeing others succeed and live HAPPY.¬† I will take the risk of being judged if only to help at least one person. ‚̧¬†

 

Getting through Resentments

20170925_113433-02

Resentments either big or small, at some point in our lives we get them.¬† They can do more¬†damage than¬†we think.¬† A good saying describing resentments is “drinking poison and waiting for the other person¬†to die”.¬† This may sound extreme, but while having a resentment we harbor this anger¬†inside, meanwhile the person we have the resentment towards goes on their merry way not even knowing¬†we are mad..or maybe they do.

The right thing to do is to pray for that person.  This is most likely the last thing you feel like doing.  It is imperative that you do this not only for the person you are resenting but to give yourself inner peace.

Keep your distance.  If possible give yourself time to cool off and think about the situation before you act on it.

Write it down.¬† Write your thoughts down.¬† If you know you’re going to have to see this person again and talk at some point, get your thoughts in order.¬† The worst thing to do is to say something you regret and cannot take back.

Realize that even as much as you try, some people are hard to get along with and that has nothing to do with you.¬†It’s not your circus, not your monkey’s.¬† Some people enjoy drama and you do not have to feed into it.¬†Be the¬†bigger person and¬†¬†put it in God’s hands. Have¬†courage and strength in¬†knowing you are doing the best you can and you will feel peace.

When life does not go as planned

¬† Life can throw us curves at times.¬† It happens and will continue happening.¬† But that’s okay!!! We have two choices…Do¬†we let that keep us down or do we keep on fighting those bad days?¬† Here are a couple ways that help me overcome those curves.

*Be Patient– time takes time.

*Be CalmРinstant gratification is the number one distraction to staying positive. I want it and I want it now right? No.  Breath and Believe that better things are on their way.

*Recognize your blessings.- what helps me is to make a gratitude list.  Instead of focusing on the negative in my life I think about all of the blessings that God has given me.

*Live in the NOW– projecting about the future and the “what if¬†” will not¬†benefit you.¬† Taking things as they come will help focus less on the negative.

*Trust in God– know that God has a better plan.¬† Sometimes this is hard to understand or you don’t understand why something is happening.¬† Understanding that it’s God’s will and not yours will help ease your frustration.

You can live through many hard circumstances.  Have faith in the hard times. The hard times we go through make us appreciate those good times even more.

Self Love

20170921_140141.png

Positive Body Image

Hi there! Today I want to talk about loving yourself.¬† No one can tell you to simply stop disliking your body and the way you feel about yourself (well they can, but you may choose to not listen).¬† The good news is there are ways to improve that stinkin’ thinkin’.¬† It’s a journey that takes some practice.

Make sure to start by reminding yourself daily that personality and what is inside is what shows true beauty.¬† You could be a model and if your personality is always negative and rude towards others that is a huge turn off.¬† Tell yourself you’re beautiful.¬† That seems weird ,I know.¬† Believe me when I tell you it is crucial.¬† Just like my picture above “your body hears everything your mind says”.¬† If you’re constantly looking in that mirror and picking out every flaw you see, your mind will believe it.¬† Start by looking in the mirror daily and picking out one thing you see that you love.¬† It may simply be your smile.¬† Maybe you have gorgeous eyes.¬†Or maybe you’re having an AWESOME hair day! Tell yourself that.¬† ¬†Everyone is unique and HAS TO have something that they love about themselves.¬† Start small and work your way up.¬† You will notice a difference on the confidence you grow.

When you don’t respect yourself you will notice other’s won’t respect you.¬†¬†Surround yourself with people who make you feel good about yourself.¬† You know, Cheerleaders!..no not the ones who cheer on the football players.¬† The cheerleaders that are friends who wish nothing but the best for you and cheer you on to have a successful and happy life.

Don’t compare yourself to others.¬† This day and age there are magazines that women and men are airbrushed to look flawless.¬† You have to think realistic and know that this is not true life.¬† I get frustrated often because there are young girls and boys growing up seeing those images and comparing themselves to those singers/actresses/ and models.¬† If they only knew that it takes one click to get rid of a huge pimple for those magazines.¬† It’s just our nature to compare¬†ourselves to others ,but do yourself a little favor and little by little try to do it less.¬† Embrace every feature and gift that God has given you.

Another good way to start loving yourself is to pamper yourself! Splurge! Get your nails done, get your hair done.¬† If you’re on a budget you can get a nice long bubble bath or paint your nails, listen to some music alone, read a good book or take a nice quiet walk.¬† Do something for YOU.¬† It always feels good to take care of ourselves.

Spend less time worrying about the way you look and try to direct your energy on helping someone.  You will find that doing this will not only get your mind off of the negative thoughts it will always make you feel so good inside.

We ALL have flaws and something we do not like about ourselves but if we try to embrace that we are different.  Maybe we think our nose is big or our lips are small ,but this is what makes us unique. We can live a less stressed out/ less insecure life when we stop putting ourselves down and start loving ourselves.  God has made each one of us unique and special.

Show yourself some love today by practicing some of these little pointers and I pray you feel good about yourself because you are beautiful!